I don't give a damn cos I am what I am, even if it's really really bad

who ate all the pies?

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 12:02:01 GMT

literally, me *burp*

Id like to show you all a neak preview of my latest body modification...

a 1cm womb implant

after all the recent troubles things seem to be coming up millhouse

hoory

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 17:06:45 GMT

Im having a mini me!

boredom

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 13:01:09 GMT

claire is on the move
claire is a high
claire is moving london
claire is a city of bridges
claire is a star in her own right
claire is growing fast
claire is 'mum' to a host of needy birds
claire is hot
claire is a star from nita & andy
claire is attacked by one of the g
claire is submitting to
claire is my pimp
claire is a godess
claire is da best 14
claire is saying about you?? by matt tracy the stoutonia
claire is ranked first among carnegie 1 chemistry programs nationwide in the number of graduates going on to earn ph
claire is committed to a policy of providing equal employment opportunity for all persons regardless of race
claire is "mum" to a host of needy birds
claire is ic's home away from home
claire is scheduled to appear on cbs this morning tommorow morning and of course
claire is nominated as the "it girl" for 1997
claire is submitting to licking jamie's titty
claire is located in the rolling hills and river valleys of west central wisconsin; eau claire is easily accessible from interstate 90
claire is an attractive young woman who is a congenital ?amputee?
claire is approximately 56
claire is a prolific journalist for magazines and newspapers and she is also in great demand as a cookery demonstrator in great britain
claire is in united states
claire is a covenanted community founded in 1949
claire is roan's little champion and protector
claire is henry golden
claire is a grab bag of hot issues for the modern woman
claire is a beautiful city of lakes
claire is een advies en implementatie bureau dat een groot aantal diensten levert
claire is a communications agency specialized in new media
claire is a general practice resident at large midwestern hospital
claire is to do
claire is beginning a journey
claire is located in western wisconsin on the confluence of the chippewa and eau claire rivers
claire is a rare breed a person that if you should consider yourself lucky to meet
claire is pregnant
claire is wonderfully diplomatic though
claire is chic
claire is writing the equal opportunities policy for gigabyte inc
claire is here
claire is a small community of about 7
claire is the author of over ninety books
claire is a registered nurse on a medical and surgical inpatient floor in our community hospital
claire is angry that the perpetrator has never been brought to justice
claire is the author of 16 texts and teacher resources in the field of english as a second language
claire is a tool designed to find errors in c programs that could result in security breaches
claire is sure to earn a bevy of fans with this charming and heartwarming tale
claire is home to the fairview shopping centre
claire is an experienced litigator in the areas of discrimination
claire is the founder of what state
claire is a clinical and an educational psychologist who has a background in primary school teaching
claire is working on a new
claire is also researching the social factors which influence the occurrence of geometric and figurative art in indigenous societies
claire is beginning to feel like a caged laboratory rat
claire is a real estate agent that is known in the community of portland for their dedicated client service
claire is convinced she has evidence which can be used to hunt down the killer
claire is best known as the character of the evil alti on the hit tv series xena
claire is a very close
claire is ready to deliver
claire is feeling the current mood of claireeee79@aol
claire is the object of attentive manual care
claire is the youngest member of penrith city council
claire is the film's protagonist
claire is a northeast atlanta neighborhood that features a great mix of home styles
claire is staring in a movie with jackie chan
claire is a real estate agent that is known in the community of leduc for her dedicated client service
claire is a very fragile
claire is the right choice for your
claire is a private elementary school that has the following objectives
claire is a beautiful and brainy colleague at bletchley who is shown primarily through flashbacks during the course of the movie
claire is da best date
claire is currently a project engineer for granada television
claire is living in glen iris with me
claire is deputy academic secretary of the 5th world archaeological congress
claire is fooling people while the characters remain
claire is based in colorado
claire is kind to an elderly woman
claire is
claire is in her late eighties
claire is pouting because she feels dowdy and dull
claire is love
claire is wonderful and i want to go to the fair and hug her and mattoliver and stuff
claire is a delightful young creature dressed in clothes reminiscent of the bygone edwardian era
claire is sending all these beautiful birds my way as a reminder that she is ok
claire is new to the escort world although she has worked in the adult industry for a little while as a dancer and model
claire is the jewel in the crown of the murdoch magazines stable after the title
claire is a frenzied film noir about claire beaucage

Sun, 17 Apr 2005 15:40:35 GMT

were sundays always so dull?

Im sure I used to do things once upon a time, Im sure i used to be able to lay in after last nights antics, maybe I just grew up without realising. I certainly hope not, although I would quite like a nice twin set.

I have a case of the humdrums lately, we have no money, I hardly see my best friend, I hate work..I feel like a tightly wound elastic band thats set to ping. I think I might run away somewhere where no one knows me and have a huge blowout, get me some alcohol poisoning or something. Thatll get me back on track yes siree

fuck having a life when you have docor who

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 20:15:38 GMT

well hellooooo there

a suggestive start, and why not, Im feeling frisky

The sun is out and the bird are chirping..which isnt a good thing *shudders*, birds song to me must equal old ladies quivering in their armchairs while teenage boys throw rocks at their windows and toilet paper in their trees. Trust me, anything that can fly without aid of mechanical advice is automatically up to no good.

Not so busy this week, managed to get stuck in my kitchen window, not due to my magnanamous posterior I hasten to add, more due to my general akwardness. here's another handy Claire tip, when exiting windows, drop both legs first, never ever attempt to do the splits, its probably a lot further down than you think. It wasnt too bad, the day was warm and I was only there for about 10 minutes until the man came to rescue me *sings bonnie tyler*, plus I was near the kettle and made a nice cup of tea, in fact it was quite relaxing. So there.

Managed to loose 6lbs this week, weight instantly departs from my belly so I was able to fit into a whole bunch of clothes I havent been able to since christmas (or sesaon of non stop gorging as I like to call it). I guess due to this I had a little more confidence or something because it prompted a big issue seller to propose marriage to me after I picked up a copy, and an elderly italian gentleman to inform me that "aah, you have the passion like my first lady I know"..whatever that meant. Hopefuly I can stick to my new healthy regime for a while, I irritate me really, my body reacts so well to exercise and pampering yet most of the time I just cant be arsed. Id far rather sit on my backside, watch tv and eat family sized bars of chocolate in my pyjamas. An enedering image.

Went to Leahs this week and lived up to our reckless reputation by erm...making fairy cakes..but looking fucking hot whilst doing it I hasten to add. In fact Im thinking of patenting a foxy baking show, Im thinking channel 5, Im thinking abi titmus presenting, Im thinking of the pain of scorched boobies. Ow.

I shant give up the day job yet then

happy sunday?

Sun, 06 Mar 2005 21:13:41 GMT

ok, today was a good day, I didnt even have to use my ak...

This weekend not only did I get to see lots of boobs I also managed to lay in till 9am..a major occurrance in my life believe me. Im delirious with beautiful dream filled sleep, the joys of hugging my duvet till mid morning still fresh in my mind have kept me happy. I'm clean, scrubbed red raw, fresh and pure for the time being.

Until monday comes crashing down around me

ho hum

I am currently pioneering the shift from parrots pearching on shoulders of pirates to monkeys, I fear birds, this can only be a good thing,oooh arrrrr.

"I never worry about being peculiar. Everybody's odd. The most common neurotic fantasy is pretending to be psychotic"

<3

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 20:57:59 GMT

Being in a relationship is fantastic on valentines day. being in two relationships however is quite simply fucking awesome.

Saturday was spent in drunk love heaven with leah, wearing her pants over her jeans, we piggy backed, punched, drank, and smooched our way through the streets with messed up make up, great hair and attitude.

Monday night was with The Man, spoiling ourselves, richness, hotel opulence and the brief fantasy that we were better than everyone else on this god forsaken planet. Fuck that, he makes me feel that way every day..

I feel a very very lucky lady

x

such a cliche!

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 17:39:40 GMT

wow,look at that, an update

so no, I havent dropped off the face of the earth, Ive merely had even less of a life than usual, a non life you could say? Work is excuciatingly dull, I make absolutely no effort with my appearence anymore (whats the fucking point), I hardly ever go out. Severe calorie restriction, vodka and scary basements are about the only enjoyable things in my life right now. Ho hum.

Hair. I need advice, its getting long,and still red, Im torn between hacking it all off and growing it to beautiful flowing firebrand rapunzel type get up. While I quite enjoy the idea of swishing it around and being able to cover my nipples with it (I have no idea why that appeals to me so dont ask) I cannot abide by it at the moment. Its just so bleurgh, I hate inbetween stages. Im thinking maybe leopard print undercut,hmmm,hmmm?

aside from that, Im going, I have a cough and my roots need serious attention

x

GRRRRR

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 15:00:28 GMT

No sleep and red wine make for a very angsty claire. See above picture.

Its been simply aeons since i updated and suprise suprise not much has happened. Christmas came and went,and although I professed to dislike the season of presents..I mean goodwill.. I am now left with a christmas tree shaped void in my heart. And corner of the living room. New year saw me with no plans so my beaaauuutiful lady and her man came over to see 2005 in with wine,whiskey,beer and strong stomachs. Correct to form I managed to get ridiculously drunk, fall over several time, try to start a fight with a group of neighbours and smash my beloved scooby doo glass into the street "its new yeeeaaar yay". Terrible excuse.

someone entertain me,anyone?

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 19:05:07 GMT

wooo new tattoos wednesday

woo vandals on sunday

Im so easily pleased

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 19:18:42 GMT

easy self assembley furniture is never easy

result

still no sofa and almost a knife fight

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 20:00:37 GMT

hahaha

did anyone notice there that I managed to replace myself and my girl with a picture of chunk from the goonies

it scares me to think what I have on this hard drive

happy halloween

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 19:56:55 GMT

Well I hope everyone had a spooky one, not too spooky though,we dont want any head spinning or green pea soup sick..thatd never come out the carpet

Mine was ok,saturday night we went to a friends halloween party, only a few people she invited turned up so it was a little dead. Like the trouper I am I proceeded to drink heavily and practically smash the place up in a desperate attempt to stop my tutu falling off whilst playing twister... I blame the husband,its usually his fault :)

The next morning,halloween itself, was my 1st wedding anniversary, Mr Claire and I woke up, both puked then had a luverly romantic day nursing each others hangovers and being very very quiet,ssssssh

Right now I feel pretty good (despite that whole election business,but Im hoping if I dont hear anymore about it then it wont be true,thats how it works right?thats how it worked when I was 8 anyway). So heres a couple of photos for your viewing pleasure, my two favourite people

my adorable husband, manages to put up with me on a daily basis despite my many many foibles <3

...and myself and my best buddy/ object of my girlie lust leah, all dressed up,rocking the pvc look at halloween

Im lucky :)

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 20:13:40 GMT

Im having a quandry

I originally planned to go to a fancy dress party as a pirate,just because, but now my man is going as an escaped mental patient..straight jacket,lobotomy scars,drool -just a usual nights sleep there then- so i figured maybe we could play the couple thing and I could dress up as a nurse. I have the whole pvc outfit thing,I could be a baaaad nurse,not the mercy killing kind,the slutty sort. But heres where my problem is, theres always some silly girl dressed up as a pvc nurse like she was the first to ever do it,do I really want that to be me? do I really care? do I just want another excuse to show some cleavage? pah, a nurse it is

This weekend I went to a party with leah,everyone else was in jeans but we dressed up in flouncy party dresses and tiaras,ho ho ho, we're such attention junkies, I got ridiculously drunk and proceeded to explain how horrible having thrush is to some poor young unsuspecting teenager..he probably cant even look at natural yoghurt anymore because of me. I managed to spill red wine over a fancy carpet and smooched with leah while peeing on the toilet. A well balanced respectable evening then.

Im still brimming with purpley goodness

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 09:50:32 GMT

guess what Im getting for christmas/birthday?

no,not that,stupid head

a kitty

yay

not a little tiny one like before (far too much responsibility) but one about 2 years old from a rescue place. Now we have the garden J couldnt really refuse

..you are the bestestestest husband in the whole world..he's reading over my shoulder

I shall name her bob

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 19:12:34 GMT

long time no update hey

instead of constantly updating my journal with snippets of useless crap I figured Id wait a while and..erm..well fill it up with some more snippets of useless crap

I hope you missed me

Moving was not as traumatic as Id thought it would be,we pretty much got it all done hassle free,despite my friend who was driving the van getting us wedged widthways in an alley..think austin powers..and the contents of the last box making a desperate suicidal attempt for freedom on the main road

Other than that we are both loving the new place,especially this baby

oh yes,we have a bath, as you can see its a nasty green colour but with the amount of hair dye I use Im sure itll be a veritable rainbow in no time!

The garden/jungle is still gowing strong,I havent even attempted to get out there yet..theres a scary amount of snail activity going on which is quite alarming,but my parents are visiting in a few days so I shall pack them off to work out there in return for their board for the weekend,muwhaha,you wanna come stay at casa de claire,you gotta do something for me

Sun, 19 Sep 2004 14:55:43 GMT

another day,another new hair don't

notice my drunken smugness afer winning my first game of bowling,I owe it all to beer and pre menstrual tension

Thu, 16 Sep 2004 20:19:55 GMT

Yesterday brought the rather lovely and unplanned day trip to the local A&E after I managed to chop a whacking great chunk out of finger at work..it was pretty inevitable really

Me + Sharp objects = stitches

the thing that really bothered me is I'd only just sharpened the scissors,hows that for gratitude I shouldve left them blunt the bastards. Despite the intense pain as the metal sliced through my poor unsuspecting digit I managed to hold it together for 30 seconds (my mental state not the finger) to search for a leopard print plaster to match my outfit..seriously...before noticing that blood was literally gushing from me. I then got a little manic and giggled a lot,ate 3 cookies..sugars good for shock right?...called my husband and pleaded pathetic girliness and got him to accompany me to the hospital where I got all sewed up and a rather painful tetanus injection which now hurts more than the finger does. I now have to keep my finger dry for 5 day..surely thats impossible..and eat lots of chocolate*

the thing about this story that reeeeaaally gets to me is that when I retuned to work the next day I was informed that seeing as i left work 2 hours early..albeit with my finger hanging off...I owe the company time

you cant make these things up guys

*reccommmended by the national health board of me

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 17:12:18 GMT

d'oh

Im such a fucking techno tard

here are the pics!

and another

neeeew hair

Tue, 14 Sep 2004 17:10:41 GMT

as promised

here it is

[image width=352 height=288]http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/356656/purple005.jpg[/image]

sorry the picture sucks but my camera died so its shitty webcam stuff

you couldnt really see the colour so I maxed it up a little,voila,purple murple

[image width=346 height=254]http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/356656/254825.jpg[/image]

goodbye old friiiieend

Mon, 13 Sep 2004 22:02:13 GMT

Well i finally decided to give the red hairdye a rest for a while so now I am the proud owner of a blue/purple head of hair (and matching hands)..pictures to follow

anyone sings the smurf song and I'll break your nose :)

Sat, 11 Sep 2004 20:41:09 GMT

Fucking ebay

some idiot who took absolutely ages to send me my payment for something she bought off me (and then only did so after I sent about 30 emails) left me negative feedback saying the jumper I sent her smelt and hadnt been washed :O I hadnt even worn the damn thing, stupid fucking fucker fucktard,I wish I didnt regularly clear out my inbox or id find her address and sign her up to donkey porn or penis extension spam. Hmph. That really bugged me,I smell good :(

today hasnt been great,you know when you feel something is wrong but its not,I have that feeling,an onimous lump inside me. Now Im thinking too much,lalalalala

Im very lonely tonight *sigh*

life sucks

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 21:32:48 GMT

I just missed a tv show called "Chimps who Kill"

why does NOTHING go right for me!

yay

Mon, 30 Aug 2004 19:57:09 GMT

Today was spent flat hunting,hurrah, I know most people deteste moving and its meant to be one of the top three life traumas but I absolutely adooooore it

I would also like to apologise to Simon for the picture,older boys* made me do it :(

so,three days at work this week and then we are camping at the weekend,which might be fun,until I need a piss at 3am that is and have to walk 3 miles to the toilet by torchlight avoiding rabbit holes

*read stinky welsh boys who are bolted to the playstation 2

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 21:47:26 GMT

Well what a dire non event of a weekend

High dramas on friday after the ball closure on one of my lip piercings became completely jammed shut,which doesnt sound too much of a problem except if I failed to remove it Id end up with the sack. So after practically twisting my lip inside out I realised it was futile and ran off to my piercer who tended to me with two pair of pliers and some brute force,Grr, thankfully. I had visions of me losing my pout and believe me people,me not being able to kiss is truly a loss to the free world ;)

This morning Mr Claire and I had the mother of all arguments,over nothing really as all major arguments usually are, he was mean and shouty and I stormed out to work almost ripping the door off its hinges with one hell of a slam. If there was an olympic category for door slamming and huffing Id win gold no problem..actually I will give it a few years,theyre bound to introduce it. I seethed and simmered with pent up rage all through work,planning my argument perfectly,then as soon as i got home was greated by hugs and sorrys at the front door accompanied by puppy dog eyes. I was very forgiving and accepted the apologies in good grace..but I was soo right!! HA

ahem